WoTLK’s bestiary: Deep Analysis (II)

Maybe it’s not that brilliant, after all. But the analysis is not so deep either, so we won’t complain. Let’s continue:

Iron Dwarf

The Iron Dwarf. I picture him like the Tony Stark version of dwarves. Or the kind of dwarf who wears dark Iron Maiden T-Shirts, old school heavy metal midgets. Hell yeah!

But they are just plain evil dwarves, instead. Judging by the pictures that Blizzard has published, they look like dwarves with a skin of stone, electrified eyes and pretty pissed off. It is not easy to be electrified all day long, I take it.

Well, I can’t go fundamentalist on Blizzard, if you give a convincing story to these creatures, the idea might work. Better than big blue snakes, anyway. All we know is that these creatures might be the missing link to understand dwarves and their evolution from the titans of myth (honest to God, this starts to sound like a Manowar song to me). We’ll see.

Taunka

These look cute. However, I fail to see any imagination involved in the designing process: they are white taurens, taurens in the snow. Give them a pair of skies and you’ll believe you’re in Alberta. According to Blizzard: “many believe the taunka to be ancestral cousins of the tauren”. Really? I wouldn’t have said so. 😛


Aside from this, the brief description provided say that they are “tenacious”, “stoic” and they have a “unshakable resolve”. So, they are stubborn, aren’t they?

Well, I can’t say this is going to change WoW as we know it. Murlocs were pure genius, by comparison.

Flesh Giants

Well, they have gone nuts with these: flesh giants. They have summon every bit of imagination in the world to create this new race. Could they have come up with a better name? Strong, mighty and above all… self descriptive.

Flesh Giants are some kind of zombies made with dead body parts from different corpses. I admit this looks actually evil, however, if you decide to hang around the Plaguelands sometimes, you’ll see plenty of similar creatures all around the place. Again, we will fight flesh giants because they are mobs and surely someone wants to have their ribs or lungs to do something, and he will reward us with XP points and stuff. However, I can’t say flesh giants are the most amazing creature ever designed.

WoTLK’s bestiary: Deep Analysis (I)

Not so long ago, Blizzard have unveiled the bestiary for WoTLK. Brilliant stuff.  Let’s take a deep look:

Nerubian Vizier

Half-spider, half-humanoid creatures corrupted after the (beware the imaginative name) War of the Spider. Now, surviving as soldiers of fortune, they wander the frozen lands in look of World of Warcraft players to play “touch and hide” with. And cook them. Probably not in that order.

It is rumored that the viziers themselves may serve an unseen emperor, one who is destined to lead the ancient spider-people to a final victory over the Scourge. In Brilliant Stuff we’ve managed to get a pic of the unseen emperor:

Now, he is the almost-unseen emperor. At most.

Plague Eruptor

According to Blizzard’s Bestiary: “Plague eruptors are the latest experiment of the Lich King, designed to spread horror and chaos across the world of the living”. Well, aside from being creatures of the Lich King… isn’t every enemy in Wow designed to do the very same things?

Again quoting from the bestiary: “The most terrifying weapons in the eruptors’ arsenal are the myriad pulsing nodules that dominate their rotting skin”. I have to admit that my cousin was a plague eruptor when he was fourteen, he had pulsing nodules all over his face. And yes, they were sort of a weapon, especially scary for women.

Jormungar

“The fiercely aggressive jormungar are a marvel of evolution, possessing rows of chisel-like teeth capable of boring through solid rock, as well as muscular, flattened bodies well adapted to rapid underground navigation.”

My good Lord, this is a snake. Don’t lie to me, it’s a big blue snake, nothing fancy about it. Apparently, Blizzard ran out of ideas with the Death Knight, because these creatures looks like combinations of many others that we have already seen in Azeroth.

I know, I know, it is not easy to summon inspiration after two new continents added to the original game, but hey, you’re paid for it, guys!!

Wait for the next part of this deep analysis!!

Keep in shape and play World of Warcraft

Combining sport and WoW. Brilliant stuff.

Who said it was not healthy to play WoW? In fact, these two dudes have proven that you can work out while playing your favorite mmorpg game. Forget the gym and start wandering Azeroth… now!!

If you’re raiding in a daily basis, in two weeks you will be the last action hero. Bad side of the story, if you keep raiding, you’ll collapse from a heart attack.

Enjoy!!

McDonalds hires The Joker

I couldn’t resist, just take a look, brilliant stuff…

Pretty good. 🙂

The Death Knight is coming…

The death knight. Brilliant stuff. (I guess)

He is coming, and I bet that there will be more death knights in Azeroth than gamblers in Vegas. Scott Johnson knows that, and he keeps kicking ass with his Extralife web-comic (where he also delivers podcasts, his personal blog and much, much more).

Here you’ve got the Death Knight, Scott’s version:


(Click to see the entire comic)

If you want to visit Scott’s realm, just click in here.

World of Warcraft is a crazy place

We’ve hired a psychoatrist (that’s how he introduced himself) in order to answer all those questions related to the World of Warcraft. Having received some e-mails containing deep-brilliant stuff, we needed someone capable of providing an intelligent response to them. We just found him available, so… here he is!!

Hi, there
My name is PrettyEyes and I’m in a relationship since 2001. My boyfriend and I were a happy couple until World of Warcraft came out. We started playing together, that brought us closer to each other, it was great. I played a hot holy paladin and he went for a strong night elf warrior who looked like someone who spends too much time at the gym. Now, he has decided to change his main char for an alt, and that was where our relationship changed. He is a powerful level 70 mage female gnome named “Pinky_Blue” who happened to kick ass… but I can’t look at him the same way anymore. It is as if we’ve lost the spark. What can I do?

Well, first off, you could change your name. No woman on Earth respects herself when using the name “PrettyEyes”. Now, knowing that I hang around as a psychoatrist, I won’t insist on the matter.

Secondly, you should play an undead rogue and cannibalize him, just to make a point. If that doesn’t work, you should log in with his account, get to any major city in the immediate surroundings, and start screaming: “I really believe that The Dark Knight was the worst Batman flick ever, we should honor that other “Batman & Robin” wonderful moving picture, Chris O’Donell is a real actor. Fuck Heath Ledger (but let him rest in peace)”. Then, he will KNOW for sure that there’s something that seriously bothers you.

Then, do what any other normal people would do and TALK to him. Do NOT WHISPER him, nor SEND a message in the guild’s board, just approach yourself to his physicial REAL body and articulate understandable sounds in order to establish old fashioned communication. Speak out, woman.

If that doesn’t work… just go and play Guild Wars, losers have their second chance. 😉

World of Warcraft Addiction

World of Warcraft addictions. Brilliant stuff.

This kid will go nuts when trying to level up his new death knight, that is for sure.

Well, again we’re on with this “videogames are the root of all evil” topic. Let’s put it the right way: videogames might be dangerous, so is eating too much or crossing the highway naked and covered in pink cream at rush hour.

If we take it from the theory that society can’t self-regulate, it is indeed a problem, we’re enslaved by external stimuli and certain influences should be strongly regulated, since nobody is responsible for actions unavoidably triggered.

However, this is not true. Or better said: it is half-true. We are dominated by external influences because we are not trained for it, we are not well educated. We can certainly control those influences, we can look for what is best for us, but often we choose the easy way instead. Human nature bends us that way and we have the power to resist. We’re not talking Kirk Cameron stuff here, it’s just called responsibility and self-control..

Of course, this must be learned. I’ve seen it million of times in very different backgrounds: children who are taught to brush their teeth from an early age, keep the habit. It is not a matter of doing what you’re told, but learning how to choose the right path to live, learning to live. This requires intelligent individuals capable of understanding and deciding between the options available.

Difference between the kid in the video and a normal healthy kid is that he’s probably been misguided by their parents, who failed to give him a proper education. Otherwise, he would have picked up that spending 16 hours playing WoW would not do much for his future (professional players get out of my way on this!).

As a World of Warcraft player myself, I know how time consuming it might become. Again, I see how my life goes and when I had to devote some time to my personal projects, I just stopped playing. When I had some time to spare, I enjoyed Azeroth and magic flying carpet mounts as usual.